UN REVEALS KINGPIN
TIN HAS OBTAINED HIGGS BOSON PARTICLES
The
worst fears of international security agencies have been realized
with confirmation from the UN and CERN that Kingpin
Tin, the world's largest robot, has obtained a large number
of Higgs Boson particles. This is deeply disturbing in light of
the significant armament programs the Kingpin is developing in
Machineville.
Agencies
have confirmed that the Kingpin has personally broken into the
Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland and obtained a large number
of super valuable sub-atomic particles, as speculated in last
issue. Following the recent successful activation of the Collider,
a large number of priceless and prized sub-atomic particles had
been collected. This rocked the world of particle physics.
Leaving
a huge "crater" in the snow-covered ground, Kingpin
Tin crashed through solid rock to enter the Collider. He ploughed
straight through solid steel barriers protecting the radio-active
storage section, shocking security guards. They opened fire with
semi-automatic weapons, but to no avail as bullets simply bounced
off the Kingpin, according to witnesses.
Research
scientists on the ground revealed to Loungecast
that a large strongbox lined with lead and a rare earth metal
alloy was taken. The strongbox was alleged to contain various
types of particles, strangelets, dark matter & Higgs Bosons
and weighed more than a ton.
At
the request of the UN, scientists at the Collider completed an
audit of particles this week. Frighteningly, it has been revealed
that more than 800 Higgs Boson particles are missing, as well
as an unspecified number of strangelets. The purpose of the raid
is as yet unconfirmed, though it has been previously
reported that KingpinTin may be developing a death ray which
could ultimately be used against humans.
CONTROVERSIAL DIAMOND
DEALER SHOT DEAD IN PRAGUE
Mysterious diamond
dealer Basil Duboise has been found shot dead in his Prague office
in the Czech Republic. Witnesses reported hearing the sound of
breaking glass preceding a blood-curdling scream, then nine or
ten shots being fired. A dark colored sportscar without number
plates was seen speeding from the scene.
A man of many
enemies, Interpol has no clues as to who could be behind the murder.
The murder is completely baffling as jewels and artifacts worth
millions of dollars were found at the scene. A priceless Knights-Templar
goblet, one of only 12 in the world, and believed to have been
used at the Last Supper, was also found.
Mr Duboise had
been a colorful and controversial figure in the international
gem and armaments trade. He had been a leading pioneer in the
gems for missiles trade in the secret black markets of Africa,
South America and the Middle East. Mr Duboise's shadowy partner,
also reputed to be in Prague, has disappeared without trace and
police wish to contact him urgently.
Basil Duboise
had recently returned from a business trip to Zanzibar City on
Unguja Island. Coincidentally, it was in Tanzania that the Hopeless
Diamond, recently stolen in a major heist, had last been seen.
(See last issue — Ed.) Loungecast
has attempted to contact Mr Duboise's Zurich headquarters, but
there has been no reply.
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