ROMNEY RYAN ECONOMIC PLAN TO REVIVE AMERICA

Previous plans announced by Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney to turn the US economy around and advance in a new direction did not go far enough according to the MIFSS. A Grey Paper commissioned by the GOP (and obtained by Loungecast) reveals the far reaching extent of their grand new plans to rebuild America.

New Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan had previously announced that he would cut the tax rate for the top one per cent, the US billionaire class, from 35 to 25%. This would not only reduce the terrible burden and hardship these billionaires carry, but allow those extra funds to "trickle down" to less fortunate sectors of the economy. (The billionaires would then have more spare cash to build new businesses, invest in new projects in the USA and create American jobs).

But under the new Ryan Romney plan exclusively revealed by Loungecast this previously small, miniscule and tiny tax cut will be dramatically escalated. The original logic of the plan has already been clearly explained, so a top level decision has been made to expand it. The MIFSS advisers asked the important question — why settle for the "trickle down effect" when you can implement the "waterfall effect"?

Brilliant "waterfall effect" plan to completely cut billionaire taxes

The plan is as brilliant in its strategic vision as it is as bold in its visionary strategy, moving forward. Under the plan, billionaire's taxes will be cut, totally. Under the Republican plan, from November 2013, billionaires will pay no taxes. Additionally, from November 2014, the government will pay THEM an extra 10 per cent on top of their annual earnings, based on their declared income. Not only is this projected to have an extraordinary effect on the nation's economic growth, but it will simultaneously reduce the incidence of tax evasion, also stimulating revenue growth.

With so many more countless billions of dollars in their Swiss and Grand Cayman accounts, billionaires will be liberated to open massive numbers of factories, shops, enterprises, laboratories, construction sites and warehouses across the USA, all hiring huge amounts of US workers. This investment revolution will lead to a massive drop in the unemployment rate and subsequent gigantic windfalls for the IRS. The "waterfall effect" of the Romney Ryan plan is designed to initiate such a torrent of financial wealth creation and prosperity that it is projected that the US National Debt will be fully repaid as soon as 2018. The policy has been hailed as exciting, visionary and ground breaking by The Tea Party.

NEW PLAN WILL USE DRONE TO EXPLORE CATASTROPHE ISLAND

The Government of the Tortoise Islands has announced plans to launch an explorer drone in another attempt to find out more about Catastrophe Island.

The notorious island, with its stories of dinosaurs and secret treasure, has long been the target of explorers and adventurers, ever since the days when legendary prospector Ronald Rafferty claimed to have found a gigantic gold lode on the island. He estimated the massive lode to be double the size of that found during the Islands' Great Gold Rush of 1887-88. If true, the deposit would be even bigger than the legendary Sovereign Hill lode in Australia. Rafferty died mysteriously in 1895 and the lost gold mine was never found.

The mysterious Catastrophe Island is infamous for being the world's most dangerous place. Few humans ever venture there, and far fewer still have ever returned to describe their experiences. An unmanned drone was determined to be the best way to explore the island in the near term.

The drone's main priority will be mapping unknown regions of the island, with a particular emphasis on seeking the legendary Turtle Portal. The Portal is the fabled gateway believed to be the sole entrance to the only track through the dense and steamy jungle leading into the Valley of Velociraptors. The Valley is the last place on earth where dinosaurs still survive, and is believed to be the location of the world's grandest treasures.

MISSING HOPELESS DIAMOND LINKED TO KNIGHTS TEMPLAR GOBLET

A rare Knights-Templar goblet, one of only 12 in existence, found at the murder scene of slain gem and armaments dealer Basil Duboise in Prague, has been linked to the fabled Hopeless Diamond Robbery.

The legendary diamond, bearing a curse of death that has so far claimed eight known victims, was last known to be on Unguja Island, Zanzibar, following its theft from the Congo Museum of Antiquities. (See story last issue — Ed.)

The Hopeless Diamond Robbery, as it has become known to the world's media, continues to mystify the international press. While known to be the world's largest, the diamond carries a curse so infamous that it is hard to understand why anyone would seek to own it. Perhaps the legend itself explains the fatal allure of the majestic gem and why someone would be willing to tempt fate by possessing it.

The discovery of the Knights-Templar goblet at the crime scene adds one more piece to the intricate jigsaw puzzle. Antique experts have concluded that it is the same goblet that was stolen at the same time as the Hopeless Diamond in the Congo in that infamous heist that was reported around the world. The goblet bears the Roman numeral eight "VIII" on its base.

The discovery in turn provides solid evidence that the diamond itself had found its way to Prague along with the goblet, probably delivered by the late Mr Duboise. The shadowy Mr Duboise had only recently been in Zanzibar on business.

There was no sign of the Diamond at the scene, and investigations into the mystery are continuing.

KINGPIN TIN TAKES STOLEN PARTICLES TO MACHINEVILLE

Kingpin Tin has arrived in Machineville just days after his daring robbery of the Large Particle Collider in Switzerland. This is potentially bad news for the Tortoise Islands whose southern regions are considered to be the most dangerous in the world. The head of the Islands' Defense Force, General Backbreaker, immediately ordered a heightened alert in the DMZ which lies just north of Machineville. Significant armored assets and a group of Special Forces troops have already been deployed according to a classified document which has been obtained by Loungecast.

The Kingpin escaped with more than 800 Higgs Boson particles in the Swiss heist, leading to intense speculation about his intentions. Security analysts fear the worst, with most theories believing that he will use the particles in the production of a so-called "death ray" which could potentially give him world-wide military superiority. (See last issue — Ed.)

The Kingpin's return to Machineville is certain to renew speculation about his association with the robot city. While Machineville operates as an independent and autonomous entity, answering to no-one — not even the United Nations — reports that Kingpin Tin is making more and more frequent visits, and of longer durations, are adding to speculation that he may be forming some kind of alliance with the notorious city.

The Security Council is scheduling an unscheduled meeting to discuss the crisis next month.